So you’re looking for a therapist in Tacoma, WA.

You’ve been meaning to get around to finding a therapist for awhile now. You know therapy can help you, but it’s overwhelming to figure out who to work with. And you’re just a little bit nervous about going to therapy. Maybe you’ve never done it before and you don’t know what to expect. Maybe you’re thinking. “I don’t even know what I’m supposed to talk about!”

Or maybe you have tried therapy before, but the experience wasn’t everything that you were hoping for. You and your therapist didn’t connect very well, or the sessions just felt like chatting and rehashing your week over and over… Or maybe it was sort of helpful, but you still feel like you haven’t gotten to the root of your issues the way you wanted.

I’m kate, a licensed therapist in Tacoma, WA, and I’m here to help.

I know finding a therapist can be a daunting and overwhelming process, especially when you aren’t sure what to expect in therapy. Let me break down how therapy works and give you an idea of what to expect in your consultation call, your first therapy session, and in your on-going work with a therapist in Tacoma, WA.  

what to expect in a consultation call with a therapist in Tacoma, WA.

Most therapists offer a free 15-min consultation call in order to have a chance for them to hear more about what you’re looking for in counseling, answer any questions you might have, and together see if you would be a good fit to work together. Here’s how these calls usually work. First, you find some potential options for therapists you might like to work with. I’ve outlined ideas about how to do that here in this blog.

Then you reach out to the therapist either by picking up the phone and giving them a call, or filling out the contact form on their website. The therapist will get back to you and schedule a time to have the consultation call. These are usually free and often last about 15 minutes.

When the therapist calls you, they will often ask you to share a little bit about what you are hoping to work on in therapy. This is a chance to tell them a little about the symptoms you are experiencing, the challenges you are facing, or how you want life to improve. This can be hard to put into words sometimes. Maybe you are overwhelmed and don’t even know where to begin. Maybe talking about how you’re feeling or asking for help is hard, and it’s difficult to put it into words. Or maybe you’re doing your best to hold it all together, and as soon as you’re asked this question, you feel like you’re going to break down into tears. That is totally ok. We understand that this is a loaded question and it’s completely fine to get emotional. We also understand sometimes these things are hard to articulate. Just do your best to give the therapist a little snapshot. You don’t have to go into a lot of detail in this call. Just a few sentences about the challenges you are facing or the ways that you want life to be different is enough to give them an idea of what you want to address.

The therapist may ask you a couple of the following questions about how long you’ve been experiencing symptoms, if you are having thoughts of harming yourself or others, if you’ve tried therapy before, etc. This is just to get a better idea of the kind of help you are looking for and if they are the right person to help you.

Remember that the consultation call is a chance for you to also ask whatever questions you have. You are interviewing them, too! Things you might want to know:

• Have you worked with someone who has had my issue before? Was it a successful outcome?

• Do you have specialized training in working with my issue?

• What type of therapy do you do and how does it work?

• What should I expect in terms of how we work together to improve this issue?

• For people with my issue, about how long should I expect to be in therapy for?

After you and the therapist discuss a little about the issues you want to address, you can both decide if you want to move forward to set up the first session, called the intake session. You want to assess if this person seems like they have the experience and expertise to help you. You also want to get a vibe of their personality. Do you feel comfortable talking to them? Do they sound like someone you can imagine building trust with? The most important factor in successful therapy is the relationship between the therapist and the client. So be choosy! I tell clients it’s sort of like dating. You can expect to have to go on several dates to find a good match. Similarly, I encourage clients to do several consultation calls with different therapists to get a sense of who makes you feel comfortable.

The therapist will also be assessing if it feels like a good fit on their end. What that means is that they want to be sure they have the experience and expertise to help you. Mental health is a broad field, and not every therapist will work with every issue. Many therapists specialize in certain issues or working with certain populations. This way they can focus their training on providing excellent care in a few areas. For instance, some therapists focus on working with disordered eating, while others focus on addiction, or working with couples.

For me, I focus on helping people decrease anxiety and depression, break codependent patterns in relationships, and stop people-pleasing and build self-esteem. I like to use brainspotting therapy as my method because it helps people get long-lasting and rapid results in a deeper way than talk therapy can provide.

So if it feels like a good fit on both ends, then you and the therapist can discuss things like scheduling, the fee for services, insurance, and other practical details. If you are a good match in terms of these details, then you can schedule the first appointment.

What to expect in the first therapy session with a therapist in Tacoma, WA

When you start therapy in Tacoma, WA, the first session is known as the intake session. It’s a chance for the therapist to get to know more of your story and get the big picture of what you are experiencing and what you hope will change as a result of therapy. Beforehand, you may be asked to fill out some forms. These will include the therapist’s policies, an informed consent document, a questionairre about your symptoms and experiences, and possibly some assessments to determine if you meet the criteria for anxiety, depression, or other mental disorders.

During the session, the therapist will ask questions about what you’ve been experiencing to go into a deeper dive of your symptoms and how they are impacting your functioning in different enviornments. They will ask about different areas of life including your mood, behaviors, health, relationships, work life, social life, and family of origin. They are trying to get to know you as a person and understand your context and different factors that are contributing to your challenges. They are also listening for your support network, your resources, strengths, and resiliencies.

In the intake, you will also cover your goals for therapy. What are your best hopes for how therapy will help improve your life? If this is successful, what will feel different about your mood, your behaviors, your relationships, etc? The more specific you can be in naming what you hope can change, the better you and your therapist can set realistic, tangible goals. These goals are like mile-markers on a road trip. They enable you and the therapist to check-in along the way to see actual progress. If you are not seeing progress, you and your therapist can adjust the course as you go to make the process more effective for you. Or if it isn’t a good fit, you or the therapist could request a referral to get you the right help so you can achieve the progress you’re looking for.

If you’re not sure what tangible change would look like for you—don’t worry! Your therapist can help you articulate these goals. Sometimes all we can think about at first is just getting out of pain, and that’s enough of a goal to start with. When you start feeling better, you may have an easier time thinking of the positive changes you want to see in your life. You and your therapist can always adjust your goals as you go along in therapy.

One of the most important things about the first session is that you feel comfortable with your therapist. Just like in the consultation call, you want to be asking yourself if this is someone you feel like you can trust. Feel free to ask questions you have about the process of therapy, the therapist’s training, or whatever else you’d like to know. At any point, after the intake or at any time in therapy, if you’re not sure this is the right fit, bring it up to your therapist so they can discuss it with you. They may be able to make the changes you need to make you more comfortable and the therapy more beneficial for you. And if not, they are a professional, and will not be offended if you want to change course and try another therapist. This sort of thing happens frequently, so don’t feel bad if that’s what you need to do.

What to expect in your on-going therapy with a therapist in Tacoma, WA

Now that you and your therapist have your goals, the work can begin. Different therapists work in different ways, using different therapies to help their clients achieve their goals. I like to blend a few things together to help clients make progress.

1. An approach of self-compassion. No matter who I work with, this is a theme of working with me. I like to help clients cultivate deeper self-compassion. We can often be our own harshest critics. In whatever work I’m doing, I aim to help clients experience more empathy and kindness towards themselves which greatly helps the healing process.

2. Strengths-based approach. In therapy, it’s important to not just focus on the problems, but also where your strengths are. These strengths are proven resources that we can utilize to help you overcome whatever challenges you are currently facing. I frequently ask my clients what is improving in their life and we take time to celebrate the wins along the way, which increases their confidence in their ability to overcome the current problems and keep making progress.

3. A trauma-informed approach. Trauma doesn’t just impact our emotions—it affects us deeply on a psychological and physical level, too. That’s why it’s often not enough to just talk about things and hope they get better. Trauma is an injury to the brain and nervous system, and it takes an approach that engages the brain and nervous system to help you heal at the deepest level. That’s why I like to use brainspotting to help clients to heal trauma, decrease depression and anxiety, and change negative core beliefs and deeply rooted patterns. Brainspotting is a neuroscience-based approach that’s very effective for a wide variety of issues. Once we have the treatment plan of your goals, this is one of the tools we will use to help you start feeling better fast.

Along the way, you and your therapist should check-in regularly on your progress. If you are not noticing tangible differences after 3-6 sessions, then a course correction in the methods of therapy may be necessary to help you get more out of therapy.

The length of time in therapy depends on your goals. For some people it’s a few weeks, for others it is years. For most, it’s somewhere in between. I let clients know they should start feeling a positive change within 4-6 sessions, and significant progress after 4-6 months of weekly sessions.

In the beginning of therapy I like to ask my clients how they will know they are ready to graduate. Therapy in many cases does not have to be forever! We want to get you feeling better as quickly as we can and help you feel empowered with a new set of tools to navigate challenges. So progress should be part of this process. We will keep checking in until your goals are reached and you are ready to graduate.

so you’re ready to start therapy in Tacoma, WA

I hope this has helped ease some of your fears about starting the process of therapy and finding a therapist in Tacoma, WA.

I offer online therapy in Washington state. My specialties include helping people break out of people-pleasing, start healing their burnout, develop skills to overcome anxiety, and grow in self-compassion and appreciation for the awesome person they are. If you’d like to see if we are good fit to work together, reach out for a free 15-minute phone consultation.